A Cinematographers look at the Designer..

Cinematography-Film Through The Pan Glass Part 3

Previously posted on Reelshow Mag by Richard Dodd

This will be an irregular and hopefully humorous look at the TV and Film world through the eye of a busy Director of Photography…Me..

Lets take a look at..

The Design Department.

We are about to enter a Fearful, Fantastical, Magical World.

Where everything is possible.

AT A PRICE..

Above the door of every Design Department there should be a sign that reads…
“ABANDON HOPE (AND YOUR BUDGET) ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE”

I bet you think I am kidding…afraid not..!

As you enter the palace of design you will probably spot the holy one (The Designer) sitting at the far end of the hallowed chamber behind a huge desk which will be littered with scripts and various knick knacks, toys, catalogues, brochures, etc.

He will be surrounded and protected by the Praetorian Guard:

 The Assistant Designer (the right hand person);

 the Graphic designer; the graphic teccy person;

The Production Buyer and several hangers on from the construction crews and set dressing crews.

They tend to growl at you as you enter the perceived sacred space.

The designer will wait just a moment too long before he beckons you forward for your (Brief) audience.
 He pushes to one side some of the ten untouched latte cups that spread across his desk.

Me “Hi, just wanted to know what colour you are going to paint the main hall to the house”

Him (Pursing of lips) ‘Hmm, (looks across to the Assistant Designer) Haven’t quite got round to that one yet Dearie,..but probably navy Blue.’

Me ’Right….lovely… So very dark then?. And the door will have some glass panels?..Just to provide a light source…It is a major part of the scene…In the hallway…at the front door.’

A pause...it gets longer.

Him (very pursed lips now that slowly break into a forced smile)’Glass Panels?’. .Another look across to the Assistant Designer. ‘Don’t think so Dearie, thought it would be nice to have some Antique, hand carved, Thai temple doors, seen some and they are so divine, cost an absolute fortune, but they are so cute.. but bugger the cost… Unfortunately they don’t have glass panels..’

The Assistant Designer is now nodding so vigorously at this that she almost dislocates her head.

There is a murmur of approval from the now attentive assembly. The odd cough and the words  "Glass...so fifties" can be heard.

Him (Cont) ‘Will that give you a problem Dearie ?’

Me. ‘Yeeess, probably..’

Him.’Dont worry about it I’ll think of something, maybe some Chinese candle holders on the floor in the corner… keep the oriental theme…or something…Ok ?.. Anything else Dearie.. Got to move on ..very busy..’

Me. ‘Thanks for your time. I am sure it will work out..’

It usually doesn’t..

More soon….

Richard Dodd is co founder of Reelshow International and a Director of Photography.