Wednesday, 21 November 2018

View from the as seen by a total guttersnipe.

This is a new line of blog from me..views of life from my unique situation..which is complex.It will be an occasional series and dependent on what irks or pleases me at the time.  Stand by for a short list of bio facts;
Born at the outbreak of WW2,
Raised in a vermin and cockroach infested slum.Shared a room with my sister until I was 21 and she was 8...appalling time for her no doubt..
Dreaful education at the local Catholic School..I knew all about a young mans travels, speeches and eventual demise in the Holy Lands..but sod all about what I needed, small things like English, Maths, History etc etc.
I left this temple of religious nuttery and total lack of preparation for the world at the tender age of 14...yep..14..totally uneducated and woefully ignorant about the world and what I could make of it.
Total poverty was the name of the game..Dad worked in the steelworks, liked a drink and a smoke, mum was a cleaning lady, she also shared dads leisure habits but she inadvertently gave me an opportunity like no other and probably saved me from an appalling life.
When I was about ten years old , mum had a job cleaning at a mansion house owned by two brothers and two sisters..none had married, no children, nice people, very wealthy, mum would take me along with her and park me in wonderland...the now very old family had kept their play room and...YAHOO...their library completely intact and they were very happy for me to play with their old toys and read their books..nirvanha
Incidentally I was top in every school subject when I left but I knew instinctively that more of that education stuff was needed..I read everything I could lay may hands on..voracious springs to mind.
No TV..cos no electricity, gas light only, I travelled the world every evening, flying through massive tomes from the mansion.
Then I discovered the Cinema.Five theatres in my town, I could visit all of them twice a week when the show changed but I needed money to finance this extravagance so I took a paper round and indulged my cinematic fantasies.
Thwe school did not approve of my financial endeavours as it meant I missed out on after school religious lessons which were compulsory.Every morning for two years the Headmaster gave me six swipes of the cane on each hand, the pain was so bad that it was impossible to hold a pen for the first two lessons...but I got to see the movies...worth it
OK  that is a part bio, more next time...but let me tell you what my pet hate and subject will be.
See you soon

feeding the Royal Family

Sunday, 24 April 2016

Feeding the Royal Family

You may wonder why I have raised this point in an article on a Film Makers site.
I have filmed the British Royal Family on many occasions.. one never gets really close, mainly for security reasons.
I have filmed various members of the family at functions and have been allowed to follow them into state banquets and other dining functions, but I have never been allowed to film them eating.
The Security , Special Branch Officers , always give you the order of the boot, as in “Get Out”
Do members of the most elite family in the UK have eating disorders.
Were they not taught basic table manners?
Were they never taught how to handle cutlery?
Do they eat with their fingers, or push their faces into the food and slurp it up?
Have you ever seen any member of this family eating, on newsreels or any other media outlet.
They must be the most photographed family group in the world and yet no-one has ever seen food pass into their mouths.
There may be some old Hollywood version of someone like Henry VIII chomping on a chicken leg or a leg of lamb, before throwing the remnants over his shoulder for the peasants or hounds to leap upon, but none of the modern royals ever do that.
In the “Kings Speech” I cannot recall one eating scene.
No wonder the newest arrival is bone thin…they never eat.
Are they aliens, as some prominent conspiracy theorists would have you believe or are they just a little sloppy at the table.
We may never know.
A fortune in royalties (Pardon the pun) awaits the first news man/woman to grab a few seconds of the royal chomp…keep your eyes open out there.